Thursday, 24 September 2020

Start of Fall

I have a constant sleepy feeling, I think I need to start exercising every now and then to not feel like a big baked potato.
   
But anyways. I got 2 months free trial on skillshare. Initially I wanted freshen up my oil painting knowledge so I could make the best painting of my cat I could. But that kind of got jammed since I noticed I don't have a big enough canvas for it. So before I can proceed with that I need to find a proper sized canvas.

Life seems slow. 
 


It makes me giddy seeing the leaves changing and Halloween stuff popping up in stores... I really don't have any money at the moment to spend on such things, but just seeing them makes me dive in to the Fall feels.

Seriously I can't even remember when was the last time I styled my hair this way.. Must be like 5 years ago. I really wanna test all sorts of different styles to see which ones work best for me.


I constantly wanna stream but I just feel so tiered that sleeping seems more appealing right now. Need to get my shit together. Makes me sad that sleepiness and general exhaustion keep me away form my art projects and other stuff I love doing. Kinda funny how most of my blogposts recently seem to be pictures of me + me complaining how sleepy or depressed I am. Oh gosh.
I hope Fall, Samhain and Halloween will inspire me a bit.


Top - Shein
Collar - Killstar
Shoes - Gothic shoe co.
Skirt and cross belt - From a company with questionable ethics
Gloves - Ebay




Thursday, 3 September 2020

The wait

At the moment I am waiting for my internet to improve so I could stream. It doesn't look very good for today. But hopefully on Saturday when I want to do my birthday stream all will look better.
For Saturday night I kinda want to bring boyfriends steering wheel and pedals to the computer room and play Wreckfest and maybe drink while doing that.

For non stream things. I had a slight slump in my mental health and instead of it steadily improving like it has been doing for a month it took some steps back. So I took some days to just painting, playing and sleeping. Why do I get the deja vu feeling form saying that, oh gosh. 



I recently started an oil painting of my cat and hopefully that will be the first painting I feel comfortable sharing here after... years? I used to like sharing my art a lot but nowadays I just like painting for myself and very personal stuff. Those get pushed at the back of the closet but it's fine since it's more about the ritual of making them for me.

Necklace - Tommy Vowles
Waist belts - Boohoo
Chains - Hardware store
Skirt - Flea Market
Shoes - Gothic Shoe Co.
Top - Flea Market
Lace Gloves - Ebay


One thing about the fall coming soon is I start to get the urge to read a lot. Good thing I have a bunch of books waiting for me to grab them. Maybe some Stephen King? 


That's all for today! See you soon!

Monday, 17 August 2020

I don't give a damn

 Against my usual fluffiness I tried for a softer look for today. It must be like first time in my whole life that I used a curling iron to curl my hair. I have had a curling iron for at least 10 years and I used it first time today. It shows since my hair looks more wavy than curly I guess. But I liked it anyways, at least it fits all this lace.

Top - Dreamgirl
Skirt - Lindex (old)
Belts - Second Hand
Shoes - Second Hand, Demonia
Stockings - Ebay


 Just here to drop some outfit pics. I also did a Twitch stream again last night. You can still watch it from my Twitch channel, the link is in the sidebar. I streamed Layers of Fear, at least the first half of it. I was so damn scared I had to leave the rest of it for another day. It will be some time this week, and I need to take some encouragement booze for the rest of it. I also played some other games for some of the stream to calm my nerves.


I have such an inspiration to do stuff I love, to do content. To stream, to draw, to make this blog... I just feel so happy right now with how things are. Now I have the time and the energy for the things I like and I can't even express how good it feels.


Love ya!

Wednesday, 12 August 2020

Gray Day

Took some outfit pictures today, and managed to take only few before it started to rain. So I decided to go with what I had and took a blanket to my computer, opened the window to listen to the rain, put on mood lights and chill with a scary story stream while making these pictures ready for the blog. It's a gray day but I love it. 

Top - Boohoo
Skirt - Etsy, thetutustoreuk
Belt - Disturbia
Thights - Leg Avenue
Shoes - Demonia
Collar and cuffs - Random sex shop


 Tomorrow we were planning on going to the beach if it's warm enough. Might not be, but I'm sure there will be other warm days to come. I got a few new bathing suits for this summer a while back and I haven't gotten a chance to wear the other one yet, it's so super cute it demands to be used.

Today ( Wednesday night ) I have been planning to stream Fall Guys on Twitch. I hope the servers are working properly this time, and if you wanna come see me play, chat and chill, Welcome! If you can't make it today, you can tune in another day!


Nothing more for today but...
BOOOBS!

Thursday, 6 August 2020

Streams afoot

Here I am again!
Let's start with the most obvious thing, I had my hair cut. Yesss, the hair you see in the pictures is not the wig I used to wear a lot, it's my actual hair. I got annoyed by the long hair and just needed something new.

Also things happened, I don't want to get in to it too much, but it means I will have a lot of free time for the rest of the year at least. So I thought what better use of my time than start streaming games on Twitch. I will try to stream 1-2 times a week for now, if you wanna follow me, here is a link to my Twitch profile: 5ande. Also you can follow my twitter where I always tweet when ever I start streaming. 
My internet does not sometimes want to cooperate with me so I will kinda have to choose my streaming times according to when my internet wants to give me at least enough speed to stream 1080p 30fps. It's usually the middle of the night here in Finland. I will be streaming all sorts of games. 
Come chat with me!

Top - Etsy, Blasphemy Clothing
Waist belt - Asos
Hole belt - Tokmanni
Bondage belt - Etsy, Ape Leather
Shoes - Demonia
Choker - Killstar
Necklace - Ebay

I also have bunch of other things I want to do now that I have the time I want to get back to the things I used to enjoy but rarely had time for. And hopefully that also means a lot more blog posts too.



Other than that I don't really have much to tell, not much summer adventures this year. No Lumous gothic festival ever again... I only watched this year through the streams and got pretty sad about it. I kinda want to make a post with a outfit appropriate for a burial of Lumous and kinda just write about the past ones I have been in... 
But I am also hopeful something great will surface for the Finnish goth scene, and replace it as a big yearly meet for us dark beings.



Then there is also corona, black lives matter, dollskill being evil, free the nipple...
Bunch of stuff happening. I fully support the black lives matter movement and if you don't, this isn't the place for you.
 Corona.. Is just being corona, situation is not very bad in Finland at the moment but it could just prepare itself for second wave.
 Dollskill, I have a bunch of stuff from there, and I will wear them like normal, but I wont promote or tag their items anymore, not here, not in Instagram. If you ask about an item I got from there, I will tell you where it's from, but I will also tell you to reconsider before buying, but also to make your own judgment with the info out there.
Free the Nipple, just friggin free the damn nipple!!!

Sorry to summarize all these important matters in to such a small space, but there is so much info out there about these things and I hope people will find the facts and separate them from opinions, so someones opinion wont automatically be your opinion. It will also make you more knowing about the matter at hand.


See you sooon!

Friday, 29 May 2020

Sitting around

Back to work on mondayyyy. Yippeee. I'm so happy that it's finally summer weather and my summer vacation ends. Great. At least we filled our hot tub yesterday and we got a new grill a while ago so we are gonna have a fun night today. Need to just get something to grill and beers and Breezers. Has anyone tried the new lemon and elderflower Breezer? It's delicious. Seriously.

Here, enjoy some pictures of me form yesterday!


Boots - Current Mood, Dollskill
Vest - Diy'ed
Bustier - Boohoo
Bondage belt - Ebay
Skirt - Ebay
Net body underneath - Widow, Dollskill
Choker - Killstar



Ugh my roots are starting to show, as well as my quarantine and vacation weight. On that regard I guess it's good in a way to get back in to rythm and start taking care of myself again.
  

 Well I better get to cleaning so hope you all have a great start to summer!

Thursday, 21 May 2020

Purple haze

 Today's pictures are a bit different from normal. I love RGB lights, my desktop computer is full of them, my keyboard, my mouse, my mouse pad, my speakers... all rgb. So I decided I wanted my dressing room to look like a strip club and went nuts with it. I took our nanoleafs which were not currently used and put them up in there, bought some rgb bulbs and a rgb light curtain. Also for the pictures I dragged my ring light there, witch also has a rgb. I was also thinking about putting up a led light strip that would go all around the room but I'm not sure if that's a bit too much.

Harness - Killstar
Belt harness - Killstar
Top - Boohoo
Skirt - Widow, dolls kill
Rug - Killstar
I like these pictures and I kinda want to test it further. I also have a post with my old picture style coming up next, but I'm not sure how I want to continue after that. We will see!


I'm not super loving the pink but I adore how it looks with the blue lights..


Anyways, where has the time gone? In two weeks I am back at work and it makes me mad to even think about it. I still have so much gaming and drinking and feeling depressed to do before I get back there, yuck. It's been two months since I was at work, how do I even remember how to do it anymore, seesh.


Yesterday the mail brought me the highest heels I have now! Just by 1cm tough. The heel on these is 20,3cm. I splurged on these pleaser flamingo 1020's. Which I ordered through Deadfine. Surprisingly easy to walk with, I might need to get a pair of beyonds sometime later, I think the heel on those is 25,4cm.
 I just love love love these ones, especially how they look in my strip club dressing room.


 I FINALLY got my jewelry organized. I think I saw something like this someone on instagram had to organize their chokers and I really loved the idea. I used to have a bunch of key holders around the room and I had to pile up the necklaces on those which was a bit awkward. But this is perfect! I can see all of them at once and take out the one I want. Loving it. 
I bought this from Biltema and the hooks were separate, but pretty inexpensive. The thing itself only cost something like 6-8 euros.

Hope you have a great day and I'll see you again soon!