Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Where have I been?

I'm sorry for just disappearing on you guys! Still alive here! My life has been one crazy train after another. But let's just jump right in to it.

Me and my boyfriend of 7 years broke up a few months ago. I'm not going to get in to why's, but I guess we just kinda grew apart.

I had not really even gotten over it, and a new guy jumps in to my life.

For a while I tried to find a new apartment for myself. I decided that I didn't want to quit my job and leave Uusikaupunki. In the end, I somewhat like this place and job.

This city is on a super fast grow right now because of the big factory that's hiring thousands of people at once. And because of that there is NO apartments. Well yeah, there is, if you want to pay the same rent you would be paying in Tampere center or even Helsinki. So I had no luck with finding an apartment.

So this new guy and I started dating and he thinks I should move right in with him. I thought it's not such a good idea to do it so soon.

Long story short, I ended up moving to his place. That's where I'm now.

What about me and my ex's cats? Well we decided we would each take one because we had our favorites and they weren't really that good friends in the end.

My new boyfriend had a cat called Ronja though, she didn't get along with my cat so I had to let my ex keep my cat for the time being.  Ronja ended up being very dear to me in the 3 months I got to live with her. But she was a old lady, about 18 years old. She ended up becoming really ill and not eating at all so we took her to the vet. Turns out there was something wrong with her liver and my boyfriend had to choose between putting her down and starting a extensive treatment that would probably just give her a few more months at best. So we did what we had to do, though it left us both heartbroken. 

At least I'll get my cat here now, though we decided that we will take him after summer break because we are planning on doing all sorts of stuff. Travelling around Finland and such, and I don't want him to be alone for too long. So lots of travel posts coming soon.

Because all of this crazy stuff happening I cancelled the WGT trip. For a while I though I would have to be buying all this expensive stuff  like a washing machine, bed, car etc. So it turns out I didn't have to do that, but all of this has been too exhausting for me to be also planning a trip to Germany. So I decided to not go this year either.

Still going to Lumous this week as planned. I have my tickets now and hotel paid and my boyfriend will join me! Hope to see some of you there!

On to the more trivial things! My boyfriend build me a gaming computer! It run's pretty much anything and of course I wanted it to have all the leds and RGB you can possibly have. With water cooling of course. If someone is interested I will add all the info on the parts here. It's still missing parts and is a bit unfinished but it's in use at the moment.

Processor: Intel Broadwell-E i7-6850K, LGA2011-v3, 3.6 GHz
Graphics card: Asus GeForce GTX 1080 Ti STRIX OC
Ram: 6x G.Skill 8GB Trident Z RGB, DDR4 3200MHz  (Going to add 2x more, that woul make a total of 64GB of Ram)
Motherboard: Asus ROG STRIX X99 GAMING
Power Supply: Seasonic 1000W FOCUS+ 1000 Gold
Hard Drive: Seagate 1TB BarraCuda ( Going to need to add more )
SSD: Kingston 240GB SSDNow UV400
Case: Thermaltake Core X71 Tempered Glass Edition
With windows 10 unfortunately
+ A whole bunch of water cooling stuff


I also have a yard now! So my boyfriend build me a flowerbed. I put a lot of neat stuff there but I'll show it to you later on. Hope everyone is having a nice summer. I'll try to get back in to blogging slowly. :)

Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Depeche Mode in Helsinki

So me and my friend went to see Depeche Mode in Helsinki on Sunday! I would have so much other updates too but I'm going to focus on stuff about this trip and hopefully make another post soon!

This time we decided to take seats instead of floor tickets. Sure the view wasn't as good as it would have been on the floor, but I managed to get some decent seats anyway.

So yeah what's there to say, they were amazing! David was on flames, it was a real joy to eyes and ears.

I'm so glad they played stripped, I was over the moon and back to be able to hear that song live.

There would have been a after party at a bar after the gig, but the band ended a bit before eleven I think and we were pretty exhausted. From Hartwall arena we took a local train back to the Helsinki center. Oh my gosh, almost everyone from the concert wanted to fit on the same train back, even though there runs a train almost every 5-10 minutes. It was really scary. I hate crowds as it is. 

The whole concert felt like it was over in an instant. I was in such trance through the whole thing. 

I'm a bit sad I didn't take any pictures of our hotel. It was this castle'ish place in the center called Glo Hotel Art.

We got some merch also. The scarf was a must have, even though it's a bit short. 

We also did some other shopping in Helsinki on Monday. We went to Somsola which is a crystal shop. Got an amethyst cluster and a chunk of obsidian and my friend bought me this pendulum! I have wanted one forever. Also got the Crow feet platter from the Destiny Store. I think it would be really cool if I would place one of my glass dome displays on top of the platter..

Just last week I got a new record player and I am feeling the need to hoard some vinyl. Gonna blog about that later. Got these two expensiveish records from Levykauppa ÄX. If I would have had the money I would have gotten like 10 LP's from there and it was really though to choose just these two. The black celebration fit really well with the trip I suppose, it's my favorite album from them after all. 

Also I saw this taxidermy butterfly in a flea market showcase. I fell in love with it instantly and even though its was a tad expensive too, I just had to take it home with me. There was two other ones as well but this one just resonated with me somehow. My friend ended up taking home one of the other two. 

All in all a great trip! I took a few days off from work to go, and it was a really nice change of scenery for a while. But I dunno, I don't hate going to work these days anymore. Sure I have those times when I would rather die than got to work. But all in all it's not terrible. There's a bunch of nice people there after all. Though some of those people have left and it always makes me a bit sad to see another one go. 

But anyways, hope everyone is doing well and I'll be sure to try my best updating as much as possible!

Sunday, 10 December 2017


I have been putting off making this next post. I just didn't know how to address this feeling at all. First I thought I would make this post only about this, but I felt it would feel too sad to have a longish break and then shove only more sad to your faces. So I'll just throw all the things in this post, all the sadness in the end.

Pleather top - Forever 21
Belt - Second hand
Skirt - H&M
Gloves - Ebay
Choker - Etsy, rowansoriginals
Shoes - Second hand, Demonia

It really doesn't help that I was feeling pretty sad already. Every day seems like a huge obstacle. Part of it is probably the winter depression kicking butt, but I feel that there might be something else too. Today I felt a little bit better since I had time to dress up and have time to myself. I'm also glad that we will have a proper 2 week Yule vacation soon, it's the longest vacation I have had in a year, I can't wait.

I found out that Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds are playing in Pori Jazz festival this summer! I reaaally would want to go see them but I am still not sure if the Lumous Gothic Festival is in the same week. Though Nick Cave is on on a Thursday and I usually go to the Lumous from Friday to Sunday, so it might work out anyway. We'll see!

I also have the Depeche Mode tickets for February and hotel all booked for WGT. All sorts of goodness coming up next year. At least something to look forward on. 

Since a reading bug bit me, I of course needed to get new books to shove in to my bookshelf. The encyclopedia of Demons and Demonology and The Lesser key of Solomon I already have read since I have the pdf files of those. But I felt like I wanted the physical books as well since I keep coming back to those. I have read the most of the Treading the Mill by Nigel G. Pearson, it's a solid good book about traditional witchcraft for those who are unfamiliar with it, or to those who want to deepen their knowledge of it. The Letters from the Devil's forest it up next on my reading list.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved to watch Asterix and Obelix movies when ever they were on, and when I found the comics, I was overwhelmed with joy. I used to spend hours after school at the library, reading Asterix and Obelix, Tintin and Lucky Luke. My favorite character from Asterix and Obelix was the druid Getafix (Fin. Akvavitix). So when I saw this sickle in the final sales of this gothy website, I felt nostalgia, happiness, and realized that it would be perfect for my herb harvesting. Since.. you know... it's made for that.

My new mini SNES! I seriously just got it for the Super Mario World, but there's also the Final Fantasy 3, Yoshis Island and Castlevania, I really want to play those too.

Here's also a recent drawing. I have really been getting back to the drawing board, even though it still feels like I'll never be good enough for me. Might still at least try.

So here it is.
Our family dog died about a month ago and he was really important to me. His name was Ransu and we adopted him in year the 2001, when I was 8. Though my mom thinks it was 2000 so I'm not quite sure. So yes, he was quite an old dog, but he was small and a mixed breed one so it wasn't that strange. He was the best dog I could have ever had growing up.

I saw his end coming. He had not been feeling that well for a while and every time I visited my parents, I feared it would be the last time I get to say good bye to my old friend. And finally the feared phone call came.

Since I knew what was coming, I had some time to process it in advance, but it still hurt. The next week I would constantly break out crying without any warning. Which was hard to deal with, especially at work. Eventually it got better and now it only happens every once in a while. But it still hurts. I'm wiping away my tears as I write this.

And here... Here's a puppy picture of my dear sweet Ransu. Rest in peace, I'll love you always. ❤

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Where's my Fall at?

Samhain is only a week away and I have been such a turd. Normally I would have made many Samhain/halloween/kekri posts like earlier years, but it's just been so hard to do anything. But anyway I'll try not to make this post a complainy one too. Just to summarize: Stress, stress, stress.

For some reason I have been into buying vintage stuff lately. Like this wonderful lace skirt that I have on.

I also found this Raven bustier on ebay second hand. For some reason I have been hoarding bustiers recently. I just love how they look on me. This one is not a perfect fit since it's slightly loose, but it's still good enough for me. I'm not quite sure if the scarf goes with the outfit, or maybe if something else would have looked better, but I just felt like I needed the scarf for emotional comfort today.

Bustier - Raven, second hand
Skirt - etsy second hand
Ruffle top - Halpa Halli
Shoes - Fantasy shoes, second hand
Scarf - Second Hand
It's been cold, oh so very cold. Where did my fall go? It feels like the time is slipping through my fingers and there's nothing I can do about it. Yesterday we went to Pori and stored my boyfriends motorbike there for winter. Just in time too since it kinda looks like it will snow tomorrow maybe. I hear there has already been some snow in the inland, I'm happy that it always comes a bit later in these coast cities. 

I also made a order to http://masquerade.fi/ and got the Ritual as a physical CD. I already have this one as and LP and as a digital copy, but you just can't support your favorites enough. Also I still have a habit of collecting CD's. Jacques was so kind to keep me posted all the way through the order and he even sent me an extra Virgin in Veil button! So happy!

Like a week ago also my pre-order arrived! It's the Ukon Pakka - Kalevalainen tarot by Susanna Salo. I adore all illustrations in this deck, it's so gorgeous! I also have a another Kalevala deck already by Kalervo Aaltonen but somehow I prefer this one more. Even though as a occasional Tarot reader I still find it a tad confusing, but I'll get the hang of it!

Here are just some of my this years booty of Halloweeny items. Mostly skulls yes. I have more and more but they are all scattered across the apartment and closet etc. Most of the things I got were from Tiger, they had really nice stuff this year! Like the big pumpkin, the bigger skull candles, the drinking cups, the skull bottle, the shot classes and so on.

Lately I have been getting in to Elder Scroll Online again. Also our little tiny century old tv in the bedroom broke. So I dragged my big screen and my PS4 in there and made my little gaming nest in there. And it's nice to watch netflix etc. before going to sleep or collect a bit of halloween items in ESO... Just need my fort of de-stressing right now.

I'll hope to update a little before Samhain time, but if I don't, I hope you have a amazing Samhain or Halloween or what ever floats your boat!

Sunday, 24 September 2017

Wrong Reality

It's been rough. I worked half a month without having a day off. For now I decided it would be best not to take any extra work or I might die. The thing is, I just don't need all that money. 

I mean sure money is nice and I love buying new clothes, games, books and such. But it's also kinda depressing that I have no time to wear, play or read anything. 

I used to love dressing up even if I was just going to the store or lounge around at home. Now it kinda just feels like when I do it, that I could use that time to sleep or just rest. Hence the dramatic decrease in blog posts. We have work clothes at work and I have to keep my hair tied or I will get glue all over it. So there's really nothing much to see.

You might think it's a easy life. Not having to take care of my looks. But the truth is also that it makes me so depressed. I have the need to express myself. I have no time to dress up, not to paint, not to draw, no nothing. It's making me sad and unsocial... Even more than usual.

I'll try to balance this somehow so I could also blog more. Because I really want to do that. At least no more working overtime this year.

Anyways, now we have at least a few days off so I decided to dress up. Even tough I almost gave up half way through. I got this vintage velvet dress from etsy. Isn't it magical? It even got it's own cape sewn on it.

Taking pictures on the balcony has been impossible lately. Either the sun is all wrong or it's way too windy. Our apartment is a bit cramped and it's so annoying.

My boyfriend decided to splurge a bit and buy the VR headset for PS4. I had such a fun time watching him play with it yesterday and I'm hoping I will have a turn today or tomorrow. I also bought the drinks for an extra fun VR time!

Saturday, 5 August 2017

Velvet wings

My short summer break is already ending. I'm going to have to start my next work week tomorrow with a night sift. I have never had a night sift before and I'm kinda sure I'll just fall asleep at some point. We'll see. At least I have to stay up until the early morning tomorrow so I can try to adjust a bit, probably just gonna end up falling a sleep on the couch with a controller in my hand.

This vacation time I have mostly just been loitering. Like always. 
Playing Witcher 3 still.

Took our cat's and we went to visit my mother-in-law in Pori. I finally got the time to go around the flea markets over there after a half a year break. I cycled 20 kilometers that day and found only a few things, nothing exiting. Kinda have to admit I was disappointed. Anyway, flea markets are what they are, they aren't always full of goodies. Maybe next time.

Velvet Shrug - Kitsune Couture, Dark Market
Velvet skirt - Tokmanni
Leather top - Flea market
Belt - Ebay
Shoes Second hand
Gloves - Ebay

I got this velvet shrug from the Lumous Gothic Festival's Dark market. The seller's business was called Kitsune Couture. Always so happy to support Finnish small businesses. But oh my, it was the fabric that drew me in. Velvet with floral patterns, can I just have everything in this fabric.  And anyways I was looking for a shrug like this so it was just perfect!

I ordered a few shirts from La Decay / Bat-cave Productions. There is sooo many I would had wanted but I just had to settle in these for now. For some reason I ordered them in men's size M. I thought maybe I would diy them somehow, but I just can't get my mind to decide how.

I think I forgot to show you these things I got from the medieval fair in Turku Some time ago. The Mallevs Maleficarvm also called the "hammer of witches" has been in my to read list for ages and I'm so glad I finally got a copy! The rune book also called out to me, as well as many other books there, but I just couldn't take everything, choosing is hard. I also got a poison bottle, a belt bag and a carved bone pendant.

Hope everyone has had a great summer. I'm so glad about fall approaching too, and Samhain times!

Friday, 21 July 2017

Lumous Gothic Festival 2017

Once again we ventured to the Lumous Gothic Festival in Tampere! My boyfriend was supposed to join me and my friends but he ended up being stuck at work after all. Anyhow it was pretty cool to have a hotel room all to yourself. I could spread all my stuff all around and no one cared, ahaha.

This year I also was somewhat lazy at taking photos, but here's some anyway.
For the first time in ages I also wasn't wearing a wig while going out! My hair's gotten pretty long.

Chain Harness - Aliexpress
Leather top - Flea market
Bondage belt - Ebay
Shoes - Demonia, Second hand
Skirt - Flea market

Here's the outfit for the Friday club night. And it was taken afterwards, just before going to sleep. Tipsy and stuff. The bands this night were not really in to my taste but oh well. At least Spiritual Front was decent for dancing.

Photo by Tomi Vitikainen
 Saw Leena!

Photo by Tomi Vitikainen
Also hang out with Miss Chaos for a while. Not enough though. :'(

Photo by my friend.
On Saturday morning before the Dark Market, we decided to visit the Sky Bar, which is a bar on top of a Hotel. The view was nice, the drinks were on the expensiveish side but not so expensive as at the Lumous club...

I can't for the sake of my life remember what was this drink called but it was good. 

It's weird being so high up. Brain constantly sends mixed messages, wtf you doing, dis not right.

Photo by Tomi Vitikainen

All melted and messy at the Dark Market lol. 

This is most of the loot I got from the Market. I also got some tops but I'll show you those in good time. The rune necklace I actually got form a Pagan market that was partly happening in the same time as the Dark Market. I found my favorite album form Siouxsie and Banshees and I'm so happy about it!

Pvc Corset - Second hand
Collar - Etsy
Skirt - Moonmaiden Clothing
Bracelets - Ebay/Flea markets
Gloves - Ebay

Saturday club outfit! This was also taken afterwards so I'm a bit of a mess. Messy mess all around!

The band I was really looking forward on was Nachtmahr. They did a great show and really knew how to keep the audience alive! 

We didn't stay for the The End club on Sunday on this year either. I had to get up really early on Monday for work. But anyway I had a really nice time and I'm really looking forward on next year!
Lately things have been changing around at work and it has been exhausting really. I'm still suffering from sleep deprivation and staying up late last weekend really didn't help much. Not to mention I have to work tomorrow, on a Saturday. Hooray. 

Also this post is a bit of a mess since I'm so sleepy, I can't think even. I should be sleeping right now too. BAH!