Saturday, 10 August 2019

I don't wanna go back

Oh wow, so here I am again.
I don't know where to start, but then again I don't know what to write about.

Why was I away? I dunno. I felt lazy. I felt depressed (still do). I felt like I look like crap and my self-esteem was down in the gutters. The apartment we live in currently is super cramped. If I want to dress up to go out, I pretty much have to tear down all of my wardrobes to find that one top, and some of the time it didn't feel like it was worth it. Felt like doing posts without any interesting pictures is just not good enough. I felt like my life sucks and there's nothing to tell. Except to complain about work. But then again, these are all just excuses.

My summer vacation is almost over. Next week I need to head back to the work and it sucks so much as well as makes me anguished. I have been planning on quitting my job soonish. We need to move first and handle all the expenses that brings us before I can do that though, as well as some other small payments still hanging. My work is so very mind numbing and pointless that I just can't bear it anymore. I might look for other work slowly after that, but first I want to try my luck with some self employment since it's what I have always wanted to do. I don't want to get in to what I will be doing then just yet since I don't have all the details yet figured out.

Body - New Yorker
Skirt - Shop Melanoir
Boots - Demonia Morpheus
Belt - Second hand
Collar - Killstar

Recently I have invested in some photograph lightning for a other project, as well as possibly starting to stream on twitch. But I figured I could also use them as lights to photograph outfits and stuff inside the house, no matter the time of day or weather. But I do need to learn and test them a bit more since I am not used to using lights, but I will figure it out.

I am really looking forward on our move, even though nothing is certain just yet. But in the new house I would have room to have my own dressing room and office as well as a big yard and hardly any neighbors! Also a lot of space to fix up for my Volkswagen bus!

At the moment my bus restoration is coming along pretty good, I'm pretty sure we will get most the technical stuff done by the end of the year. I'll post some progress pictures at some point, especially when I get to start designing the camping interior! So hopefully next summer I would be able to support myself and use all of the summer to camp around Finland, where ever we want! That's the dream anyway.

Lately I have been also getting back to digital drawing. I have been working on a gift I owe to a friend of mine, which is terribly late, like always. I'm sorry!

This summer I have also been addicted to flea markets, since I have had time to go a bit further than just to the local ONE. It's always as exciting to find unique or vintage stuff that you have never seen before. It really makes me wish I'd still live in Pori, there were so many good flea markets a few years back.  

But yeah, I'll try to keep you updated as much as possible as my life (hopefully) changes drastically. Maybe some process photos and plans when I start setting up and building my dressing room and office space! I really hope everything goes as planned for once! So see you soon!


  1. Always happy to see you! I have a similar skirt by Melanoir, you look incredible!

    1. Thank you so much! I just adore the stuff she makes! I have a new top coming from her as well.

  2. I hope that either your work situation improves or that you find a better one,
    and that if you try self-employment that it is successful.
    I LOVE the over-all vibe and stunningly beautiful yet somewhat stern look you achieved in the photo above - breathtaking. I love the looks of your skirt+top, accessories, stressed fishnet hosiery, hair, perfectly applied lipstick and eye-makeup.
    Best wishes for success with all of your endeavours.

  3. Jee, onpa iloinen yllätys, että aloit taas päivittämään tänne! Harmi, että kämppä ja työjutut vaivaa. Toivottavasti molemmat järjestyy pian.

    Oli tosi kiva nähdä sut keikoilla ja oon iloinen, että tulin puhumaan sulle. Oot aivan upea kuvissa ja vielä hienompi livenä ja tuun surulliseksi, että et itse tunne samoin. Itsellä on vähän samoja tuntemuksia.

    Halaus sinne <3

    1. Eeps! Sori kun näiden kommenttien julkaisussa on kestänyt! En oo oikeen saanu aikaseks tarkistaa onko mitään tullut! Ainakin toinen on järjestymässä paraikaa!

      Samoin! Tosi kiva että tulit puhumaan! Harmi että sinullakin on näitä tuntemuksia, eivät ole kivoja. Mutta olet kyllä häikäisevän nätti!

      Halaus takaisin!