Realisation

Phew, so a month went by and a lot happened in that single month. It was a month that made me realize what I want from myself in the future and it makes me very happy.

First of all, I turned down the summer job that was offered to me. It was in a another city, which would have meant that I would have had to live with my parents all summer. Also I am not cut out to sit in front of a cash register, it's not for me. I rather be poor than miserable.

Also because of reasons I was made to quit my schools apprentice thing. I was very upset about it a even few days after. But this is the first day I feel good about it, I could not give a shit about it anymore. I got a new apprentice job just a few kilometers from our home in Pori, so that meant I got to move back home early. I am so happy here. But I am SO mad at my teacher, I hated her before and I still hate her. She once again complained how I can not use piercings and a face full of makeup in my new apprentice job. Complain 1: Is she fucking blind? I don't have any other piercings than my ear ones?! Complain 2: I never ever put makeup on when I work, I am just that lazy. She said that she needed to say it AGAIN because I used to use have heavy make up to school every once in a while. Does she think I can't tell apart the jobs where I can look they way I want, from the ones where I have to restrict myself? I fucking hate her so much. Complain 3: Bet she didn't say anything about these to anyone else.

I had to do some (expensive) unplanned travelling back to Pori  because of all this, so I don't know if I can attend my friends birthday in a few weeks. I'll do my best because I'd really love to be there!

But the reason I feel good about being home is just that it made me realize I am in a COMPLETELY in the wrong trade. Hahahahaaa so I realized this 3 weeks before I graduate haha fuck. Well at least I realized it pretty early, not after I work for 10 years in a job I hate.

I need a trade that is artistic, inspirational, creative and where I can express myself! Or my life long dream of opening my own business, where I can be myself. At least that way this business trade would not be a complete waste of my time.

This book is so interesting I almost can't put it down!

I was kinda sad when I only had 1 trip to Tampere flea markets in these 3 months. Either I had no time or no money. I did visit some in Kangasala regularly but those kinda sucked. When I got back to Pori, I went trough alll the flea markets and found a shitload of stuff. It made me want to cry happy tears when in the first table of the first flea market I found these babies:

10€, brand new, and in my size! *happy tears*

I have been very VERY scared of leaving the house with my new camera, so I ordered this camera bag from aliexpress. The remote shutter is also form there and ohhh how easy it makes the outfit photos Ah.. I usually do add a outfit photo in my posts, but I have not been in the mood of taking them lately. I need to dye my hair again and also I have been just going around as a mess, haha. But yeah I'll promise you a new post next week. :)

Anyone else tried gel eyeliner..? I just found this miracle of make up and fell in love in the first time using it. Sure the application with the brush kinda needs some practice but other than that.. I love it! I can also use it as a kajal on my waterline and it stays on alllll day. Which is so much better that the pencils kajalas I have used before this.They stay on my waterline a maximum of 1 hour, which sucks. + the pencil crumbles, and the bits get in my eye... Just love that this product doesn't go anywhere. But I do admit it is a pain to remove after a day since it does really not want to go ANYWHERE. xD

In my diy department I made some horns! They turned out okay, but not 100% the way I wanted. If anyone would like to know how I made these I would be more than happy to make a tutorial, they are so easy to make and you can find all the things you need at home! :) Would also give me a good reason to make another pair for myself. ;)

In the gaming department I have been playing Heroes of might and magic V. My boyfriend got it for me as a present and I am so excited, since I used to play Heroes III for hours as a little kid. I love the V since they saved a lot from the III and kinda improved it!

Ohh, I can't wait for summer and Lumous.. I already have 1 outfit planned. Well saves me the last minute panic.

Tomorrow I start at my new apprentice place, so wish me luck. :)

Hoarding crow

Lazy day

Those who follow my instagram might have already noticed a picture of our new family member.

There it iiissssss. I have been dreaming of slr camera since forever. So I decided to put my dreams in to reality! So I got a Canon EOS 700D. I have been playing with it for a few days and I pretty much have gotten the hang of it. But I there's so much to learn, and I can't wait! Anyone who wants to be my test model? :)

Also my "new" Demonias!

Ughh, still like a month and a half of the job in Orivesi. After that my school is done. Then I get to live in Pori for a few weeks and then I have to go to Orivesi again for few months.. Why? Because I got a summer job in Orivesi. It's nice to have a job for summer, but it kinda holds me from doing much else. + I have to live away from my boyfriend and cats. :c Crap buckets.

Graveyard hunting

Once again, summer is on it's way. And I was yet again thinking what to do this summer. Every spring I make big plans and schedules on what I want to do, but usually I can't even manage to do half of them. Usually I don't have money or anyone to go with or I just feel lazy.

Loving my new choker!

So this summer I have decided to focus on 3 things. Only 3.

First thing is Lumous Gothic Festival. I want to go there with my friend again, and this year I will force my boyfriend to tag along!

Second thing is to go Linnanmäki amusement park in Helsinki, this year we must do it since last year we didn't get to do it. :(

The third and last thing is Graveyard hunting.
I have been longing to do a mansion tour on. Especially on the ones that are haunted. But it's hard. Some mansions have a hotel, which are expensive as hell, some you can't get in, some are fenced so you can't even get close.

So I thought, what else has the atmosphere I like..? Graveyards! Oh how I love graveyards in the summer time! You can get such a beautiful pictures especially on the old ones! The great thing about graveyards, is that every city has them and they are open for anyone! So I thought I would document as many graveyards as I can in the summer time! Maybe even have small sessions with my ghost radar.

But no, I am in no means meaning to disrespect anyone. I know how some people get annoyed by goth people in the graveyards taking pictures. But the cruel fact is that graveyards are for dead people, dead people don't really care.

It would be awesome to have a friend to do this with, help me with the pictures and the overall awkwardness that I have going around in public with a camera. But since I don't have any friends living even remotely close to me, I guess I'll try to ask if my boyfriend would like to assist me. It would be really fun to do with him too, but only if he is willing. If he is reading this, what do you say? C:

I have something coming in the mail, but I'll get in next weekend. It's something I have been wanting forever and I can't wait to get my hands on it...!

Your eyebrows are beautiful

Recently I read a post made by Megan Kyla, the writer of the Coffin Kitsch blog. It was about eyebrows. Yes, eyebrows. It really got me in to the writing mood and I was going to make a huge ass comment on her post, but decided to make a whole new post about it.

Now days I am a big fan of thin and drawn brows, but that was not always the case. I used to be that horrible person that laughed at people who shaved their brows and then drew them back in. Why was I like that? Well, I had some really close people who felt strongly that it was ugly to draw your eyebrows. Commented on them on the street, send me pictures of drawn brows as a joke. Like I should laugh at it. Even asked me that why are girls so stupid that they do it. And yes, I did laugh.

Of course, that was years ago. I have really grown as a person since then. I used to make fun of lots of things in peoples appearance, there was this norm in the goth community to make fun of those skinny ass blondes with fake tans, fake nails, fake hair... Of course that affected me. I saw endless amount of comics, strips etc. about how they were the "enemy". "Oh oh, look how different these people are, no way they could ever be friends or get along." These were of course made with humor and I should had not taken them seriously.

I am so happy that I have realized how wrong I was. All of us are just people. And all of us just like different things. How fucking boring the world would be if we all were goths or hipsters or rockers or whatever. People like different things and that what makes people great.

I promise that what ever you wear, put on your face, pierce, color, tattoo, or modify. I won't be the one saying anything negative about it. That's how you like it, that's how you should wear it!

I can't begin to tell you how angry it makes me to see pictures on the internet, that make fun of other people's appearance. Yeah I like to browse pages like 9gag or riemurasia. But these pages are full of offensive pictures. Every time I see one of those pictures I have to stop browsing. That's just so I don't throw my phone to the wall or punch a hole in my laptop. Just imagine if your picture ended up there for everyone to make fun of. How would you feel?

I am constantly made feel bad about my appearance and how I choose to dress, so I can't stand anyone doing it to anyone else.

It's okay if you do not like something on someone, and it's okay to think that "oh well that's not something I would do/wear myself". But it's not okay to say it out loud! And it's even less okay to insult people in the internet about it. It makes me so damn mad!

Ranting mood is the best mood ehhh..? :D Wellp on to other things. Yesterday I shaved my sides again and I got rid of those little sideburn hairs. They were nice but they were a pain to style. Also this way my new ear piercings show much better! I have a terrible urge to fill my ears with metal. So I got 2 new holes at the Underground Store in Joensuu.

Something also arrived in the mail! I ordered this Lipcote from ebay, and I have to say that I'm in love! It's a clear coat that you put over your lipstick. It keeps your lipstick in place while kissing, eating, drinking, what ever you use your lips in! I don't know how have I even lived without this. Definitely going to use lipstick even more often.

Tampere Haul

So yesterday I went to Tampere! I was supposed to go around some flea markets but I ended up having so much time that I went around a lot of other different shops too. Here's what I got.

Ahh I love this shirt! I got it from H&M. It's short, it's got thumb holes and it has a hood. Pure love.

These 2 shirts were also from H&M. Yes yes, I know what you are thinking, and yes, it did kinda felt funny to buy pre-ripped clothes. But they were cheap, so why the fuck not. This trip was so weird because it's the first time in years that I got something other than black clothes.

Aw yiss. This dimmu shirt is from a flea market and cost me a whopping 1e.

These 2 shirts also from a flea market. Both of them were 1e also. Probably going to do some diy on the zombie shirt.

The velvet jacket is from a flea market also, 4e. It's just what I have been looking for, short and fits perfectly. Leopard top/dress is from Cybershop sale rack.

Also from the Cybershop sale rack, this pencil skirt. I didn't end up trying it in the store and I guess I should had. It's a bit too big for me. Hope my friend will take it off my hands! :)

Yupp yupp the left shirt is also from a flea market. Really like the cuts at the back. And no, the right one I just threw here with the other pictures. I made it just few days ago.

I also visited Punanaamio and got me some white eye shadow. Have been looking forever for a good matte eye shadow. Finally found it. :)

*Sigh* At first I was supposed to go to the Alternative blogs meet-up today. But yesterday I felt like I most definitely did not feel like to be around so many people. I have been so stressed and anxious that I just wanted to relax, so yeah that's why I went shopping yesterday. Today I am just going to stay in this bed, and sink in to it.

I cleaned up my blog following list. I followed around 280 blogs when I started cleaning. Then I deleted all those who had died, been deleted or have not updated in a long time. I ended up having only 170 blogs left! What's happening? It was only half a year ago when I cleaned it last time.

Impulse Cosmetics

Loving this dress from Punk rave! I decided to defy the weather and wear my heel booties and a sleeves dress. It wasn't that cold, but very slippery!

Our poor cat got his paw hurt yesterday. We thought it was nothing very serious, but I decided that I'm going to take him to the vet anyway. Good thing I did, because the wound turned out to be infected. They gave antibiotics and painkillers and said that if they don't work, we might have to amputate one toe. :( Poor kittie, I hope he can keep his toe!

Yesterday I also was in school for 10 hours. We presented our final works in front of the class and it took forever. I was super nervous about it, but I am sooooo glad it's over now. I still have 2 more tests tomorrow which I am anxiously trying to read for in the last minute. But after those there is no more school for me!

Sometime ago I placed a order to: http://www.impulsecosmetics.com/
I found them in tumblr and wanted to give it a go because they have really affordable prices! They make lipsticks, nail polishes, and all sorts of eye make-up. All of them are vegan friendly! I ordered the Mattifying Lip Powder, which is supposed to make any lipstick matt. I have not tried it yet though. And the black matte lipstick I got is pretty good! At least better than my old one. :)


And a question..

Yay or Nay on the bigger pictures on my blog? :)

They see me shavingg

My side hair got a bit long again. So when I was cutting it, I thought that I wanted to cut a little more. So now I only have these little tufts on the sides. But probably those wont last that long either.

More pictures on my instagram!  http://instagram.com/hukutettu_nukke/

I have been thinking about shaving my eyebrows..? I mean my eyebrows are just such a stupid shape. But yeah I can't really be bothered to draw them on every day so I might just shave like half of them. I really don't know yet.

Also I feel the horrible need for a constant appearance change. I  really don't know why. I have my first tattoo all planned out but now I just need the money.

Unnghhh next week I have to present my final work to the whole class... Not happy about that at all.
But yeaahhh I'm going to my parents place again today. They said something about going to ideapark in Saturday which I can't wait! I at least try to take some pictures on my trip this time. So beware!