Winter gloom

These top pictures are from today but the rest are from the last month or so. I got sick of my long hair and yesterday I went and got half of it chopped off.

 

I have not taken pictures of myself for such a long time. I almost forget how.

 I also feel very self conscious due to the weight I have gained. But I am working on it. Yeah yeah, I feel like I complain about this every time.

I had a longish very nasty depressing period where I was pretty sure I was gonna die. A doctor removed a big annoying lump from my armpit which I was convinced was cancer or something. After waiting a month for the results from the lab, they didn't find anything cancerous from it. Still feel like its a little bit sus. All the time I was struggling with it, I didn't feel like much talking to anyone. Just had my boyfriend for support. Even with that I binge ate and drank a whole lot.

He has really been my rock and my support and helped me to keep my mind from the gutters. Its sometimes hard when he is not with me, due to his profession. But it just makes the time we have together so much more special.

 

Hat - Killstar
Belt - Killstar
Dress - H&M
Jacket - Ebay, second hand
Choker - Gift from a friend, Killstar
Shoes - Dollskill

Sometime ago we had a date night and we went to play glow ping pong in a new club in Tampere.

We also went to play board games in a board game café Taverna.

Boyfriend also got us a PS5 for xmas!

So of course I had to run and get some games for us. I'm pretty far along in the God of War, I don't want to start the Elden Ring before I have gone through it cause the different buttons confuse the heck out of me. So far the God of War has been amazing.

I also had a small trip to Rauma and we went to see Lukko - TPS game. And as usual I had a little bit too much to drink.

Besides the distracting activities, it has been hard to get anything done that really needs to be done. 

Just trying to get my life together and start being productive again. I guess this post is a good start on that.