A photo from last week.
When I got in to the bus today, I felt the eyes on me. Looking at me every move. I know what they were thinking. "Please don't sit next to me, oh please" I find seats all to myself. I take a glimpse to the other side of the bus. Two younger girls look at me straight in the eyes, then moving their eyes up and down. They don't even try to hide it. I stare back at them for a while and give them a smile. They suddenly turn away.
I'm off from school. I missed my first bus so I decide to walk to the further away bus stop, to pass the time. I'm half way there. A bus is driving past me. The driver looks at me like he's seen a ghost. I can see him looking over his shoulder many times. Why isn't he watching the road? I see someone waving in the next bus stop. The driver drives past. The person at the bus stop looks pissed.
I'm standing at the bus stop. I still have 15 minutes of waiting to do. The clock strikes one. From a distance I see a huge heard of middle school students heading my way. I start looking at the ground. It's an interesting ground, lots of small rocks and.. leaves. I lift my eyes a bit. 3 young girls are walking past me, side by side. Every one of those 6 eyes are looking at me.
I am searching my pockets for my phone. Sigh, still 8 minutes to go. I'm looking at the distance, like hoping for a invisible bus to take me to the land of the dead. Nothing's coming, not yet.
I'm looking at the sky, its' a nice weather. I wish I had my sunglasses, it's too bright. A car is slowing down, and it stops. What are you doing, you can't park on a bus stop. Cars engine is still running, they roll down their window slightly. The driver presses the horn, the guy next to him yells some weird noises, both of them have their eyes on me. I grin at them and flip them off. Some more weird noises and laughs. They roll up their window and drive away. In a distance I see the bus coming.
I get off the buss. I hate this small walk home. It's not long, but it seems to take forever.
Finally I am at the building. I take the stairs up to first floor. I hear our neighbors talking in the hall again. They notice me and in a glimpse of an eye, they are gone to their own apartments. I see the shadows moving in their peepholes. I get my key from my bag and open the door, and slam it shut behind me.. I drop my bag on the floor and walk to a full body mirror. I look at myself while turning and making faces. I whisper to myself..
It's ok, I would stare too
What a day.
First: this is one of the best blog post I ever read.
ReplyDeleteSecond: I always thought that Finland is kinda open to alternative look and that they don't really care about how a person appears, but you proved me I'm wrong. I donno if it's just because Tampere is bigger than your city or what, but it was interesting to read a routine-reaction I get here as well.
Third: Let them stare, you're wonderful <3
Maybe it's not just as bad in Tampere, where people are used to seeing in. There might be a bit more alternative personnel there. But it really relates on the dramatic effects I use, like big hair, long skirts and strong make up really seem to catch people's eyes, no matter where I am. But I can say for sure it's much much more open and accepting in here than in most countries. I was in Lithuania a year back, I only had black jeans, black t-shirt, no make up and an ankh around my neck. And everyone was horribly scared and some homeless people called me a satanist because of the ankh..
DeleteBut thank you<33
I know the feeling. Where I live is not so bad, I mean I get the looks all the time, sometimes scared ones, sometimes curious ones, but never bad behaviour. Maybe yes, Tampere is bigger and it's full of goths and alternative people, I usually walk like an invisible girl there XD Helsinki is even more, but yeah there are places where it's not well tolerated. Ignorance is a bad thing, one of the worse thing ever.
DeleteWe'll have fun when we'll be walking around together me and you XD haha!
We sure will! ;)
DeleteIhmiset kyl aina kyylää niin saatanasti. Joskus se on ihan okei, toisinaan se alkaa vituttaa.
ReplyDeleteSe on okei kunhan se pysyy sinä tuijotteluna, mutta se että ruvetaan huuteleen niin tekis mieli vetää kyllä lättyyn!
DeleteJoo, kaikenlainen huutelu vituttaa. Kattoo saa muttei koskea ja huutelu on niin kakarameininkiä.
Deletegosh, that happens to me so often, too. let them stare, though, you surely looked great!
ReplyDeletesarah x / bruise collector
Yeah just let them stare! Thank you so much! <3
DeleteMahtava postaus, toi on kyllä niin tuttua. Muuallakin ku bussissa. Mut juuh, ehiks ens viikolla mun kanssa kirpparille? Ois kiva saaha seuraa ^^
ReplyDeleteKiitos! ^^
DeleteVoi ei, kun mä oon vaan lykännyt sitä kun olen ihan olemattomissa varoissa! Kun kirpparilta kuitenkin aina lähtisi jotain mukaan niin oon parhaani mukaan vältellyt tässä viimeaikoina. :D Ehkäpä sitä seuraavalla viikolla jos kerkiät? ;)
Juu käy! ^^ Kiva päästä tutustumaan, toivon mukaan on hieno sää ja kaikkee sillon sit xD
DeleteJoo! Toivottavasti! :)
DeleteI can so relate to this. I live in a small town in Alabama. At work when I am not so uber spooky the stares put holes into my face when I make people coffee. (I am a barista at a bookstore.) I get a lot of older men say very freaky things to me. Like if I have any "other" piercings, if I am into kinky sex and why I dress the way I do. I get cat calls, "fucking freak" comments, I even had one customer want to get me fired because I dressed the way I do. I see people around here as weirdos because they do not have any individuality. We are beautiful spooky things!
ReplyDeleteOhh I'm so sorry, that sounds awful! :/ But you are right! They are just bunch of weirdos! People are afraid of the unknown, and not many people really know gothic subculture. So it's pure ignorance.
Deleteeven when you live in a big city, people will always stare - but to be honest, as you already wrote, i'd probably stare too when seeing someone with an interesting style. :)
ReplyDeleteoh, and i love your shoes. i've been admiring these for such a long time but never bought them.
www.cultusillusionanima.com
Indeed, sometimes the stare is just a compliment! :)
DeleteWell yeah those shoes can be a bit expensive.. Unless you get them second hand like I did ^^
Unfortunately, this often happens with us. We love the extreme style and it is strange to other people. But do not worry, you look good ;)
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Thank you! :)
Delete