Friday 25 April 2014

Scared senseless


Today's outfit was quite boring, but I'll just add a picture anyway.


We recently got a new shelve on our bedroom. I quickly took over of it and placed some of my treasures there.


I even started my little altar on the bottom shelve. There is my little Amber necklace I got from Lithuania. Some believe that amber has the power to draw out the sickness form the body. Also Baltic amber is always warm, when you touch it, it's just always warmer than everything else. Some say it can produce negative ions that protect you from radiation so it's good to carry it with you. Sometimes I wear it under my shirt, you know, as a second heart.


Because of increased storage, I was able to get my shoes here too. My walk in closet's floor was just so full of shoes that you could not actually get in there. Now you can!


I got this tiny greenhouse from Lidl! I have always complained how the cat eats the newly grown plants. Now he can't touch them, and they have a warm place to grow.


I got a bit carried away I guess. I want green green all around! I have already started talking to them. They are my little babies. There are all flowers here. Next I guess some cucumbers and herbs etc.


Avoiding the matter as always.. Tomorrow in Tampere there would have been a meet up for Alternative Bloggers. First I was like: "Well yeah that would be fun, I guess".
But as the day came closer and closer I started to feel more and more scared. Finally only thing that would make me feel less scared was to change my status to "maybe". Take off the pressure.

I thought about it long and hard, but as fun as it may could have been, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
I feel that I may have grown a new shell. A shell that just to want keep everything outside. I had a shell like that a long time, but I slowly got rid of it. But now.. when I am surrounded by people I really really really don't like, everyday, I have become more cautious and... contact with people is hard again. I'm sorry.


11 comments:

  1. I understand your fear honey. When you've been hurted or betrayed is always this way, especially for sensitive people like you. You tend to avoid everybody, but as it sounds safer is not that healthy. I'm very picky myself, but I'm trying to work on it. I would suggest you to go to live a new experience. It might be boring, or bad, or even wonderful and you will come back home happy to have spent a lovely day with other nice people. Give it a try ;) you have nothing to lose, you can always say "ok, I had a day off in Tampere to go thrifting".

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    1. Nononono I can't do it :S Sometimes its just too much. Maybe next time 8c Thank you though <3

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    2. I understand that :*
      I hope you won't be afraid of meeting me this summer <3

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  2. Jostain syystä naurahdin tuolle "Today's outfit was quite boring" :D Sun asut on noin niinkun tylsinäkin sellaisia, että kenen tahansa rytkyt kalpenee siinä rinnalla! ♥

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    1. Hahaa, enpä tiedä tuosta :'D Mutta kiitos kovin! <3

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  3. Höh. Aattelin aiemmin kommentoida sulle tänne seuraavaa, mutta sitten aattelin sen olevan too creepy, mutta jos sanon kuitenkin: olin kysymässä ootko tulossa miittiin, koska vaikutat semmoiselta ihmiseltä, jonka tahtoisin tavata. : ) Tosin itseäkin jännittää ihan kauheesti, vaikka siellä onkin pari kaveria.

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    1. Itse olisi ollut paljon tuttuja muttei kyllä kavereitakavereita, liikaa mun hermoille kyllä vähän justiinsa nyt. :D Mutta ehkä ensi kerralla! Tai jos lumoukseen olet tulossa tai vastaavaa! :) Pitäkkee hauskaa!

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  4. Harmi ettet tule miittiin, olisi ollut kiva tavata irl :) Mutta ehkä lumouksessa sitten ;)

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    1. Juuh toivottavasti törmäillään lumouksessa! :)

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  5. Tule Helsingin miittiin :) Itsekään en päässyt Tampereen miittiin, vaikka olisin kovasti halunnut :(

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    1. Harmi ettet päässyt :c Mutta noh voinsihan kyllä miettiä tuota Helsingin miittiä.. Katsotaan ;)

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